Grace Bending


Pour yourself a spot of tea with a spoonful of sugar, and find a cozy chair. Ok, let's be honest- you are reading this on your phone, as the kids cry in the background. And you can't remember the last time that you could sit with your girlfriends, uninterrupted, with a hot drink. Coffee is most likely on a survival only basis. And if you are like me, it's often cold, after serving the children their breakfast, and you finally remember that you are a human too, an hour later. 

I usually have a running dialogue in my head, of the funny things that have been going on with my messy, unorganized home and my delightfully busy children. Every day, I am amazed at the way that God somehow teaches me something through it all, after the tears have dried (mine that is), and they are snuggled in their beds. Or in my bed. Or the guest bed. Or whatever bed agreed upon that caused the least amount of crying (this time, said child). I have thought, "Oh, you should be writing this down, and sharing your mess with the other moms who are in the same boat, so they can feel that their bit of crazy is somehow, 'normal,' too." This is now six procrastinating years later. I have had every intention to start on this verbal journey, however life has a funny way of moving on, day after day, when you don't take initiative. I guess I should have been reading my Nike shoe box, so I would have known to, "Just do it," years ago! 

Someone, at some time, has said you should write about what you know. I know that because I read it. In a book. Just kidding, I'll have to google it, but I know I have heard that at one time or another. (Wait for it, wait for it...Googled it.) Apparently, that saying refers to writing about the emotions you have experienced, not just about the events. Perfect. I shall try to cover both in my humble, yet honest, (maybe too honest) writings with this blog. I shall start randomly, for, if you know me, that is what I do best.

    

It's amazing how as soon as you take the time to unload the dishwasher, there is a load that is waiting to be loaded right after it? Then it looks like you have done nothing in the dishwashing department that day, but you and Dawn know the truth, that you have stood at the sink half the day (or so it seems). No, you really have. I have not quite figured out why I am so disabled in the area of housekeeping.  I struggle accomplishing these daily tasks in a timely fashion. I am not simply sitting around all day doing my latest Pinterest inspired project, as my children play peacefully with wooden trains, while sitting at my feet. Unfortunately, it's more like one child is attempting to hold onto one of my legs, while screaming, "Hold you!", as I struggle to drain the boiling water with the spaghetti noodles, without scalding a tiny human.  And the other two are quietly drawing... on the walls with their favorite crayon colors. 

Over the years as a mother, I have gone through many stages of mommy comparisons. Social media has become an avenue for women, including myself, to see the highlight reels of another mother, for them only to be compared to the bloopers of her own life. We then believe lies that have been created in our own minds that we are not good enough, and do not measure up. Can I get a witness?! ;) I always wanted to say that... It was easy for me to think, "How in the world am I the only mom in my peer group, that doesn't have her act together?!" I knew I was much more sane than the moms out there that allow their young children to go on the subway alone in New York City, without a cell phone.  Hello, that was a no brainer. And if you are that mom, God loves you too, now go get your kids.  But, it was difficult for me to not beat myself up mentally, for being, "That mom." Oh, you know, the one who looks like she is having a yard sale every day, since there are so many colorful ride on toys, strewn about the grass. And on Saturdays, passersby, stop and get out of their cars, to investigate this wonderful garage sale, that is actually, just my husband attempting to organize the bagillion toys we have. <I do not know how many a bagillion is, but I am assuming it is a lot.> The mom who has those cute sippy cup labels for their kids, only she had to use a Sharpie marker to  draw a line through the eldest child's name, to make room for the younger child who needs a labeled cup, stat, because it's time for church. The mom who has ketchup, straws, and a rotting apple in her diaper bag, and she discovers this after she gets home from an event requiring child care. (Hope they didn't find that apple, whoops.) "That mom," who doesn't bring a teddy to their child's pre school, teddy bear picnic, because, she often forgets to read her email, and she secretly thinks that if she doesn't check it, then no important emails will be sent to her. You get the picture. 

Since they say that, "Honesty is the best policy," I will admit that I have done all of the aforementioned things. Yep, all of those, don't laugh. I can hear you laughing. ;)  And so I have often labeled myself, "That mom." Those that are not, "That mom," have most likely noticed my, "That momness." Of course, I can not say that I know what other moms have done with that little observation. Whether it's a nice pat on their own back for not being a hot mess, or maybe a verbal, "Bless her little heart," to the closest mama around. I used to care. But, the longer I have been a mother, I do not as much. I have learned to love and embrace my quirks. Well, most of them. 

With time, I have learned to appreciate the fact that I am not the mom who orders their children's Fourth of July outfits with their names monogrammed on them the day after Valentines' Day. I am not the mom who has documented every tooth that has popped through my child's mouth, with a picture to prove it. Nor am I the organized mom, who has every minute of every day ending in, "y" planned on her calendar. And that's ok. For the moms who do those things, that's ok too. God made us all unique. It's easy for both camps to point fingers that the other one is doing it all "wrong," but honestly, we are all doing our personal bests, whatever that may look like. 

James 4:6-12
 But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:
“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister[d] or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?

--My challenge is for us, as moms, to do some grace bending. As Christ has shown us the utmost example of grace, we too, can give other mothers grace. Instead of judgement, we can offer encouragement. When you see a fellow mom in the grocery store, who is wrangling her wild brood, and you happen to be without kids for once in 3 months, than it's the perfect opportunity to share a quick word to lift her spirits, and let her know that she is not alone in the "battle!" It's easy for us to sit back, and judge the moms who are less involved, but there may be more going on than we know, whether it's miscarriage, postpartum depression, or marital challenges. Think of the times that you have been in desperate need of a friend. Do you have a time where you were once shown grace, and what an encouragement it was? Remember this blessing, and may it motivate you to bend grace her way. 

Opportunities for grace bending happen multiple times a day, if we would only stop just long enough to look for them, and act.I challenge you to pray that God will change your heart and open your eyes to the needs of others, so that you might see the ways you can minister to other moms, even in the midst of your own chaos. All moms are in need of a friend, and you may just meet, your fellow, "That mom," if you step out in faith, and bend grace her way! 





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