Saturday, January 4, 2014

Love Bank

Ok, ladies, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Well, I will try. I am known to be a little (or a lot) long winded while blogging! A lot of stifled communication over the last 34 years, I suppose! ;)

This is a blog post, that you can <hopefully> share with your husband, if you so happen to jive with any or all of my suggestions. And my husband has approved this message so this is not a passive aggressive way to give him a message. (However, that may be a good idea...nah). 

HUSBANDS: START HERE :) 

Glad you could join us this fine day. I see that your wife has handed over her phone to you, amidst the chaos of life. If you happen to be driving during this blind handoff, please pull over immediately. 

Thank you. 

Now that we are all safe and accounted for, I just wanted to share with you what your wife may be thinking, but she has never really verbalized to you. Because we expect you to just know things without being informed. I know, women, right?  

5 things you wish you would have known, yesterday: 

1. As moms, we often have little to show, at least physically, for the blood, sweat, and tears shed during  our days, especially if we stay at home with our kids. When you come home from work, and after you take a few minutes to decompress, please find at least one thing, and genuinely praise her for accomplishing that task. It may be that your wife gave your son an at home bowl cut, and she managed to not chop the tops of your son's ears off in the process. No, you weren't there, but it wasn't a pretty sight, or sound. And bribery may or may not have been involved in getting said child to sit still. So, what do you say? Something to the effects of, "I'm sure it was a tough job, but I really appreciate that you saved us $12. I am so thankful for you!" Ha ha ha! Oh wait, I'm serious. If it's not genuine, it doesn't count. :) 

2. Surprises are always nice. I know, I know, that costs $$. Well, not always... or not always a lot! Just walking in the door with your wife's favorite magazine, that she feels too guilty to buy for herself at the grocery store, would totally make her day. Or pick a wild flower in the grass and give it to her with a short love note! Ie, "You are pretty. I love you."

3. Be thoughtful. As a mother of a newborn, I had one need and one need only. Water. And more water.  Well, some food thrown in my direction every now and again, but my thirst could not be quenched. Yes, I could have gotten a glass of water for myself, with a baby on my hip, but it spoke volumes when water was offered to me. What does the Bible say about giving a cup of cold water?? See, it's true. (Matthew 10:42) Most moms have their "thing" they need, you just have to listen to know what that is. And follow through. 

4. Sometimes we need a little shove out the door. Let me explain. Household duties, childrearing, and the like, are a constant need and a "job" that is never truly completed. Even though we desperately would like to get out of the house, to gain our own sanity, and have even a few minutes of child-free time to ourselves, we often will not ask for it. When it gets to a breaking point, we will, but let's try to get some relief before it gets that bad! A stir crazy wife, is not a happy wife. An unhappy wife, makes an unhappy husband. This is a no brainer, right?! 

5. You most likely help with the bath time routine, and much more, but your wife probably has one ongoing duty that she can't stand. It may be folding laundry, dusting, changing diapers, or pick your poison. She most likely does this chore with minimal complaining. On a good day, of course. But, it would serve you well, to do that one thing, without being asked every so often. She would be floored, and ... you can thank me later. 

I would go on, but I'm pretty sure you are done reading right about... NOW. That is all. Go and do likewise! Deposits into the love bank are always a wise investment. 

P.S.- You are doing a good job. We, as the body of Christ, can always make strong marriages even stronger. 

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